Katherine’s Story

I was homeless and on the streets for five years in Watford. I always found spots that were out of sight to set up my tent and I was mindful of not showing the public I was homeless. Several times, I came back to my spot and found my tent and all my belongings gone, stolen or taken away. Each time I had to start over, asking “where am I going to sleep tonight.” I’ve experienced my tent flooding and I’ve just laid there because I didn’t want to leave anything behind to be taken or stolen, and having to wander round in the middle of the night to find somewhere to rest.

I was always hoping it wasn’t raining – you never have the right clothes so once you get wet, it’s one of the worst things because there is no easy way to get clean and dry off, especially at night. Sometimes you have to just rummage through charity donation bags or the clothes recycling to find something warm and dry. When you have constant wet feet it’s so painful, it trashes your feet. In the winter, even when there is snow on the ground you just have to deal with it.

At Christmas you’re seeing people, families, enjoying the lights and buying gifts. I was always in the shadows, envious, and it reminded me that I was alone. I felt that no one wanted me.

Me, my brother and my younger sister all had our birthdays on the same day, very close to Christmas Day, so it always brought back memories of the time we spent together as a family. On Christmas Day itself I would wake up (if I’d even managed to sleep at all) and walk into town. Everything is closed, the weather is usually awful and there’s no one around.

It's an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.   

I’d been to the Haven every now and again for breakfast and a shower but the Outreach Team were always coming out to see me – it felt like they really cared about me and even if they’d woken me up I was grateful. One morning they came and said “come to the Haven today.” I remember going, expecting just some donated clothes but they gave me a brand-new winter coat, waterproof trousers that fitted and a pair a new walking boots in my size. They were like a blessing.

In all the towns I’d roamed and been homeless, places like the Haven just didn’t exist. I knew that was the place I should be heading to.

The Haven was warm, inviting, no questions asked. It was such a safe environment for me that I used to sometimes nap on the sofa and that was like a week’s worth of sleep compared to on the street. I used to get a packed lunch in a bag too and it was like being back at school again. The team gave a human touch, always cheery, always welcoming. It really cushioned out the terrible reality of your situation.

The team got me into accommodation and things really started changing for me. I got into my room and I could lock the door – it really takes some getting used to, having a bed, electricity, running water, a shower. I was given my own TV by my keyworker and I didn’t even watch it for the first few days, I just stared at it – it had been so long since I had one.

I get gifts at Christmas, even my birthday being recognised with a card and cake, ultimately the fact that people here celebrate ‘you’, I really appreciate it. On Christmas now, I get to put my feet up while the staff rush about making us all a Christmas dinner – the chaos of it all really makes this place feel like a home.